*I didn't change ,I just stopped explaining*
There are so many vices I observe about self
Trying to correct them ,if not me then who else ?
Exposing my vulnerable side has done more harm than good
People disguised as friend often tend to misuse this , I have understood
I often had the tendency to express my hurt right away with emotions wrapped
The manipulative being would enjoy winning each time I was trapped
My explanation each time fed his ego
My next step was easily interpreted on the go
My mental health was low and was difficult to cope
But since he was a habit by now,it was tough to come out of loop
First attempt towards my wellbeing was to not let him win
I stopped feeding his ego and being his jin
His acts to hurt me was obvious but I stopped explaining
Just so that he feels I am unaffected although my heart would still be draining
I didn't change ,but stopped explaining and confronting the hurt shoot
But this wasn't a solution at base root
As I would be tempted to check his update
I pondered as to why does the stale bread crumbs he feeds me still appeal?
I asked myself what in me is not yet healed ?
I understood that the attention and validation he gave me that I was so fond
As a solution,I then started developing self bond
Which included being so busy in life and learning the lessons
Taking little steps towards my own wellness
Yes the intensity is lesser as these efforts are continuous process
The moment I give my monkey mind power to control my progress
It can lead me to path which can lower my energy
So trying my best to keep away from manipulation leading to depleting allergy
Now daily confronting myself to know if I am free from this cage
As there is no point appearing like pious sage
It's not about showing off that things don't bother anymore I no longer explain
In reality if I don't change for good and still thoughts instilled lame
Inner strength is when I am immune from toxic pleasure eventually straining
Genuinely I should be able to accept that I didn't change ,but evolved and just stopped explaining!!!
✍️©️ Priyanka Kamath
6 Feb 2026
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