A fluffy rat named geet with her grey colour spouse were travelling in Train 🚂 named 'Arranged'
The hardworking rat would get her a vanilla cake with a cherry topping well arranged
If caught, then he would take up the beatings and kept her secure
He protected her and was was kind with a heart pure
But geet always wanted a cheese cake
And she sees opposite train 🚂 named 'Affair' and found a white rat in door steps with milk cake
And he showed samples of cheese cakes he steels each day a pair
And geet forgets what her spouse does and changes train to start her new affair
The white rat gives her cheese cake in a fancy tray
She enjoys her share but was he her hopes ray ?
She started getting fat eating the cheese cakes with passing day
And once she faces her spouse in a station but didn't know what to say
The grey rat 🐀 still loves her but held up his vanilla cake in a steel plate
And she was now regretting choosing the new fate
The white mouse 🐁 when found a new rat in compartment
He started ignoring this fluffy rats sentiment
And stole cheese cakes for this new chick
Everything changed for geet in a moment of click
Once a person kept a cage for rodents wrap
And smart white rat 🐁 knew it's a trap
He played a trick to make sure the fat rat is cleared
But meanwhile the grey rat 🐀 had an idea of this and feared
As soon as next station approached he tries seeing his wife from door step
And as their eyes meet he says a sign language to not fall in trap
Fluffy rat knew the drill
She runs from the 'Affair express'' and meets her spouse with tears fill
Grey rat knew that she was drawn towards greed
And now all she need is love to feed
She realised how a wrong decision which she anticipated freedom was not leading to real happiness
And she was lucky to get a chance to get back to her spouse and never felt that emptiness
The mountain looks greener on other side true
She realises her arranged train 🚆 is her destination and journey too
The vanilla piece when in steel plate seemed so delicious
Being with loved one in thick and thin is so precious !!!
✍️©️ Priyanka Kamath
6 September 2025
Refined version
Your poem is very expressive and has a clear storyline 💫 The emotions and imagery come through well. Grammatically, it mostly works, but a few places could be polished for smoother flow and correctness. I’ll refine it without changing your style—just grammar, clarity, and rhythm.
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✨ Refined Version (Grammar & Flow Corrected):
*The trap of temptation*
A fluffy rat named Geet, with her grey colored spouse,
Were travelling in a train 🚂 called Arranged, their house.
The hardworking rat would bring her vanilla cake,
With a cherry on top, neatly set for her sake.
If caught, he would take all the beatings with care,
Protecting his Geet, with a heart pure and rare.
But Geet always longed for a cheesecake,
Till she saw another train 🚂 named Affair, at a platform’s gate.
And he showed samples of cheese cakes he steels each day a pair
And geet takes a decision of choosing affair express though her heart knew it's unfair
Geet forgot what her spouse did with love each day,
And boarded the train to begin a new way.
The white rat gave cheesecakes on a fancy tray,
She enjoyed her share but was he her hope’s ray?
She grew fatter from cheesecakes with each passing day,
Till she met her spouse at a station, unsure what to say.
The grey rat 🐀 still loved her, with vanilla cake in steel plate,.
And now she regretted choosing her new fate.
The white mouse 🐁, when he found a new rat in the car,
Ignored the fluffy one, who had followed him far.
He stole cheesecakes for his new chick quick,
Everything for Geet changed in a moment’s click.
One day, a person set a cage for rodents to trap,
The clever white rat 🐁 knew it, and laid out a map.
He tricked the fat rat, to make her get caught,
But the grey rat 🐀 feared this he would already thought.
As the next station approached, he looked through the door,
Their eyes met; in sign language he warned her once more.
Fluffy Geet understood and ran from Affair Express,
With tears in her eyes, back to her spouse she confessed.
The grey rat knew she was lured by greed,
But now she longed only for love to feed.
She realised the choice she had thought meant freedom,
Had stolen her joy, not given her kingdom.
She was lucky to return to her loyal spouse,
Who filled her emptiness and rebuilt her house.
The mountain looks greener on the other side, true,
But her Arranged train 🚆 was her journey too.
That vanilla piece on a steel plate is indeed delicious
Life with true love, through thick and thin, is precious.
✍️©️ Priyanka Kamath
6 September 2025
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